The major barrier to effective mentoring is a difference in expectations between the Mentee and the Mentor, so this is where the initial discussion about expectations will be beneficial to both parties…
It is also important for both parties to be in the right emotional state to support an effective outcome. Ideally both parties should feel relaxed, focused on the issue, objective, even slightly detached.
The following states are not conducive to effective mentoring outcomes:
- Feeling angry
- Feeling hostile
- Feeling frustrated
- Feeling impatient
- Feeling anxious
- Feeling bored
The following actions by the Mentor will also inhibit effective outcomes for the Mentee.
- Too much talking
- Seeking to control or dominate the conversation
- Needing to be right
- Playing fix-it’
- Assuming it’s just like a previous case
- Looking for perfection – perfection is in the eye of the beholder
- Trying to look good in the conversation
The effective Mentor achieves a balance between competing tensions as shown here:
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